When I decided to blog about my family's "unplugging" experience, I knew I'd have to be honest with all of you about the good days and the not-so-good ones. Unfortunately, today falls into the latter category. My oldest had a sleepover with a friend over the weekend. I'm not a fool, and I intentionally didn't say anything to her about TV. My husband and I decided to turn the TV off in our home, but I think it would be unrealistic to expect another family to unplug if my daughter is a guest in their home. I didn't want to be legalistic about TV-watching, and it's an opportunity for her to understand what moderation and self-control are.
I don't know exactly how much screen time she got, but I'm guessing it was in excess of 3 hours. She mentioned a movie and a couple of shows, and I'd guess that there is more to the story there. Combine that with about half the sleep she normally gets and a different diet, and there, my friends, is a recipe for a meltdown. Add to that an over-zealous toddler who got herself out of bed at 4:00 in the morning because she thought she had to go to the bathroom, and you have a pretty good snapshot of my day so far.
Even I want to turn on a mindless program to keep. them. quiet.
Emotions are overflowing here today. It seems to be getting a little better, but it hasn't been easy. I'm not used to getting a tearful response to a request to brush teeth and hair. Really? Maybe I'll be fortunate enough that they will nap.
One thing I have learned, though, is just how easy it is for my kids to be over-stimulated. Something tells me that I'm not alone here. This journey is going to have its uphill climbs. I knew that going into it, and each day gives me a new opportunity to teach my kids the best I can.
Here is hoping for a better (and smoother) day tomorrow.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Our Unplugged Week
Hello friends,
I don't know how many of you are following our journey (you can let me know by leaving a comment or "following" the blog), but we've made it through our first unplugged week. While I wish I could paint a a beautiful word picture for you of compliant children that are relieved the TV isn't on, I can't. Both of them are still periodically asking to watch a show. My oldest has even volunteered to ride our exercise bike in hopes that she could have the TV on while she was pedaling. Nope. Not gonna happen.
It has not been as easy to stick to my decision as I thought. I've had moments of weakness. When my youngest came to me in tears because my oldest and her play date didn't want to play with her, my first thought was to let her watch a show as a "treat" -- a way to ease the sting of rejection. I battled in my head for a few minutes, then decided that some special reading time would be better for both of us.
I am seeing some benefits, though. My girls are playing with toys that haven't seen the light of day in ages. They are coloring and being creative. They are playing outside more often. Some of the edge is starting to leave my 9-year-old's voice. Even though I curbed what she watched on TV, I realized that even some of what I thought was "ok" was teaching her values that I don't want her to embrace. Quite honestly, many of the shows I've seen that are directed toward tweens and teens teach kids that they are smarter than their parents. They also (in a subtle way) teach kids that a little bit of deception is ok, and that communication is meant to be conducted with catchy one-liners that hurt more than you intend. Even if the kids are caught by their parents, the scenario is always wrapped up in a neat little bow in less than 25 minutes. That isn't how life works, and that isn't what I want my kids to learn. I want to have respectful children that understand people are precious -- all people, not just the pretty ones or the ones with the most stuff.
Are we missing out on some good educational programs over the summer? Probably. But my kids are getting to experience some pretty amazing stuff. Since they know the TV isn't waiting for them at home, they seem to be "getting into" the experiences a little more instead of trying to "get through" them to get home and zone out. My oldest is reading books and remembering what she reads instead of trying to zip through "X" pages so that she can watch a TV program. All in all, I think my family is going to come out on the good side of an unplugged summer.
I don't know how many of you are following our journey (you can let me know by leaving a comment or "following" the blog), but we've made it through our first unplugged week. While I wish I could paint a a beautiful word picture for you of compliant children that are relieved the TV isn't on, I can't. Both of them are still periodically asking to watch a show. My oldest has even volunteered to ride our exercise bike in hopes that she could have the TV on while she was pedaling. Nope. Not gonna happen.
It has not been as easy to stick to my decision as I thought. I've had moments of weakness. When my youngest came to me in tears because my oldest and her play date didn't want to play with her, my first thought was to let her watch a show as a "treat" -- a way to ease the sting of rejection. I battled in my head for a few minutes, then decided that some special reading time would be better for both of us.
I am seeing some benefits, though. My girls are playing with toys that haven't seen the light of day in ages. They are coloring and being creative. They are playing outside more often. Some of the edge is starting to leave my 9-year-old's voice. Even though I curbed what she watched on TV, I realized that even some of what I thought was "ok" was teaching her values that I don't want her to embrace. Quite honestly, many of the shows I've seen that are directed toward tweens and teens teach kids that they are smarter than their parents. They also (in a subtle way) teach kids that a little bit of deception is ok, and that communication is meant to be conducted with catchy one-liners that hurt more than you intend. Even if the kids are caught by their parents, the scenario is always wrapped up in a neat little bow in less than 25 minutes. That isn't how life works, and that isn't what I want my kids to learn. I want to have respectful children that understand people are precious -- all people, not just the pretty ones or the ones with the most stuff.
Are we missing out on some good educational programs over the summer? Probably. But my kids are getting to experience some pretty amazing stuff. Since they know the TV isn't waiting for them at home, they seem to be "getting into" the experiences a little more instead of trying to "get through" them to get home and zone out. My oldest is reading books and remembering what she reads instead of trying to zip through "X" pages so that she can watch a TV program. All in all, I think my family is going to come out on the good side of an unplugged summer.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Another Rainy Day
And we continue to remain unplugged. My secret weapon today was Darling Sitter #1 (DS1 for short). DS1 has been around our home for over a year, and the girls LOVE her. When she isn't away at school, I love having her over. She is great with the girls; they will do just about anything to have DS1 over. It happens that DS1 was planning to take my girls to a really cool park today. That didn't happen thanks to a cool and rainy day. Instead, I pulled out an old "tent" that had been a favorite of my older daughter. It looks like a castle. Sounds like the afternoon was more than filled with creative fun without electronic assistance.
Not only that, but my older girl is finding out that books can be fun. I may be repeating myself, but it's quite the change around here. I'm usually nagging her to read. Now I'm telling her to put the book down and finish something else. I only hope that this behavior sticks around. Instead of her telling me that she can't remember what she just read, she's sharing details spontaneously. If nothing else, my (slightly) frustrated child (when it comes to school work) is discovering that she can read something and remember it. We've know it all along. The only person that needed convincing was her.
We're looking forward to a weekend of playing, gardening, and hanging out as a family. The weather should cooperate with us this weekend!
Not only that, but my older girl is finding out that books can be fun. I may be repeating myself, but it's quite the change around here. I'm usually nagging her to read. Now I'm telling her to put the book down and finish something else. I only hope that this behavior sticks around. Instead of her telling me that she can't remember what she just read, she's sharing details spontaneously. If nothing else, my (slightly) frustrated child (when it comes to school work) is discovering that she can read something and remember it. We've know it all along. The only person that needed convincing was her.
We're looking forward to a weekend of playing, gardening, and hanging out as a family. The weather should cooperate with us this weekend!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Closing in on Week #1
Wow, old habits die hard. I think we're making some progress, though. When little one got out of the tub tonight, it was the first time she didn't automatically ask for a show. My oldest alternates between accepting that the TV is off and pushing me to see if I'll give in just to keep her quiet for a few minutes. There was a discussion about renting a movie tonight, to which I said "no." Not yet. I want to see how long we can go before we watch a movie. I want to see how long it takes to decompress.
I'm starting to embrace the silence. I never realized how much "noise" was always in the background, even if the volume wasn't that high. I like that my oldest is not racing through reading a book so that she can get back to the TV. She's actually paying attention to the plot and can tell me what's going on in the book. You have no idea how thrilled I am with that alone.
There has been a LOT of coloring going on over the past few days. It was the first thing that the kids discovered they could do without TV. Coming out of that, though, is a sweetness I didn't expect. My girls are learning to sit next to each other and share. With a 6-year age difference, it's hard to find common ground. Coloring books seem to bridge that gap, at least a little. There is a sense of peace as they sit next to each other - sharing crayons and choosing pictures that will become refrigerator masterpieces. The older one does not have to be "in charge;" the younger does not have to play a subordinate role. The conversation between them is precious.
We're about to embark on our first unplugged weekend... a long one at that. If you like, join us on this journey. You may come out of it with rewards you never expected...
I'm starting to embrace the silence. I never realized how much "noise" was always in the background, even if the volume wasn't that high. I like that my oldest is not racing through reading a book so that she can get back to the TV. She's actually paying attention to the plot and can tell me what's going on in the book. You have no idea how thrilled I am with that alone.
There has been a LOT of coloring going on over the past few days. It was the first thing that the kids discovered they could do without TV. Coming out of that, though, is a sweetness I didn't expect. My girls are learning to sit next to each other and share. With a 6-year age difference, it's hard to find common ground. Coloring books seem to bridge that gap, at least a little. There is a sense of peace as they sit next to each other - sharing crayons and choosing pictures that will become refrigerator masterpieces. The older one does not have to be "in charge;" the younger does not have to play a subordinate role. The conversation between them is precious.
We're about to embark on our first unplugged weekend... a long one at that. If you like, join us on this journey. You may come out of it with rewards you never expected...
Thursday, May 26, 2011
We Might be Getting the Hang of This...
Although the TV was on for awhile (tornado warnings!), we've gone 3 days without the kids watching any kind of entertainment on the box. They didn't even watch the news with the tornado warnings in our area - no need to frighten them, but I wanted to know what was going on.
Both kids have been pretty resourceful. Yesterday we couldn't really go outside because of the weather. I was a little surprised to see the kids pulling out puzzles and dominoes, toys that hadn't seen the light of day for a very long time. I found a couple of books I'd purchased for my 9-year-old. She immediately sat down and started to read one of them - quite a change from the battle it normally is to get her to read. Even my 3-year-old who likes books is starting to look for new books to "read." Little by little, I'm starting to see them unwind a bit. I haven't heard a chorus of "I'm bored!" Instead, they have been creatively finding ways to pass the time. Since it's the first week of summer, I didn't want to put them into a rigid schedule. I've been blessed to see how creative they can be.
I think they are starting to figure out that Dad and I were serious about unplugging for the summer. Although they are still asking to watch TV when it rains, and when the TV will go back on, they seem to be arguing a little less in hopes that I will give in or change my mind. So far, I'm encouraged that even though this may not be the easy decision, it is the right decision for our family right now.
So little of my childhood revolved around the television. My sister and I would read on average 20 books a week in the summer. I remember reading biographies of famous historical figures. Encyclopedia Brown and the characters created by Judy Blume were constant companions. I have tried over the years to inspire of love of reading in my kids -- and maybe we will finally achieve that by cutting the (power) cord.
Both kids have been pretty resourceful. Yesterday we couldn't really go outside because of the weather. I was a little surprised to see the kids pulling out puzzles and dominoes, toys that hadn't seen the light of day for a very long time. I found a couple of books I'd purchased for my 9-year-old. She immediately sat down and started to read one of them - quite a change from the battle it normally is to get her to read. Even my 3-year-old who likes books is starting to look for new books to "read." Little by little, I'm starting to see them unwind a bit. I haven't heard a chorus of "I'm bored!" Instead, they have been creatively finding ways to pass the time. Since it's the first week of summer, I didn't want to put them into a rigid schedule. I've been blessed to see how creative they can be.
I think they are starting to figure out that Dad and I were serious about unplugging for the summer. Although they are still asking to watch TV when it rains, and when the TV will go back on, they seem to be arguing a little less in hopes that I will give in or change my mind. So far, I'm encouraged that even though this may not be the easy decision, it is the right decision for our family right now.
So little of my childhood revolved around the television. My sister and I would read on average 20 books a week in the summer. I remember reading biographies of famous historical figures. Encyclopedia Brown and the characters created by Judy Blume were constant companions. I have tried over the years to inspire of love of reading in my kids -- and maybe we will finally achieve that by cutting the (power) cord.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Two Days Down, Summer To Go...
Hello again!
We made it through our second day without entertaining TV. I'm putting the "entertaining" qualifier on it today because the weather here had the potential to get really ugly at one point, so I turned on The Weather Channel. I still didn't let the kids watch -- the scenes of Joplin, Missouri are heartbreaking. They are hard enough for me to comprehend (I don't), and I didn't want those images wandering around in their heads. I try to shelter my kids for as long as possible. They will find out soon enough that the world can be a rough place.
With two girls in the house, it's no surprise that there can still be plenty of drama in the house, even without a television. We went about our (new) routine of taking a walk to the park to play after breakfast. Since I knew we could be in a rainy situation later in the day, I wanted them to get some play time in. It went well, but my 9-year-old informed me that the walk is just "too long." It's about 2.25 miles, and the park is about half way along my walking route. The way I see it, if she's worn out after a walk, then this will help build her stamina. There are issues of heart disease and diabetes on both sides of the family; developing healthy habits now may help her to avoid some of those issues in the future.
You may be wondering if we are "completely" unplugged. No, we aren't. I use my computer to work from home, and I will let my older child hop on for 30 minutes or so to play some educational games. One site she visits is www.freerice.com. A friend told me about this site a couple of years ago. Here is how it works: for every question you answer correctly, the United Nations World Food Programme donates 10 grains of rice to help combat world hunger. Over time, it adds up. Choose questions from math, art, Chemistry, Geography, English, and a variety of foreign languages. You can even create an account to track your giving. It's a way to keep some of the kid's school skills up over the summer while donating to a worthy cause. Over the next few days, I'll let you know about the other sites she uses to help her retain what she's learned.
There is more rain in the forecast for today. So far, we've made a trip to get new coloring books. I'll see if that can help hold their interest, or if I give in and let them watch a show or a movie. My goal is to go at least 2 weeks before I bring up the idea of watching a movie -- I'd like to see how long it takes before they stop asking to watch TV. Any guesses?
Barb
We made it through our second day without entertaining TV. I'm putting the "entertaining" qualifier on it today because the weather here had the potential to get really ugly at one point, so I turned on The Weather Channel. I still didn't let the kids watch -- the scenes of Joplin, Missouri are heartbreaking. They are hard enough for me to comprehend (I don't), and I didn't want those images wandering around in their heads. I try to shelter my kids for as long as possible. They will find out soon enough that the world can be a rough place.
With two girls in the house, it's no surprise that there can still be plenty of drama in the house, even without a television. We went about our (new) routine of taking a walk to the park to play after breakfast. Since I knew we could be in a rainy situation later in the day, I wanted them to get some play time in. It went well, but my 9-year-old informed me that the walk is just "too long." It's about 2.25 miles, and the park is about half way along my walking route. The way I see it, if she's worn out after a walk, then this will help build her stamina. There are issues of heart disease and diabetes on both sides of the family; developing healthy habits now may help her to avoid some of those issues in the future.
You may be wondering if we are "completely" unplugged. No, we aren't. I use my computer to work from home, and I will let my older child hop on for 30 minutes or so to play some educational games. One site she visits is www.freerice.com. A friend told me about this site a couple of years ago. Here is how it works: for every question you answer correctly, the United Nations World Food Programme donates 10 grains of rice to help combat world hunger. Over time, it adds up. Choose questions from math, art, Chemistry, Geography, English, and a variety of foreign languages. You can even create an account to track your giving. It's a way to keep some of the kid's school skills up over the summer while donating to a worthy cause. Over the next few days, I'll let you know about the other sites she uses to help her retain what she's learned.
There is more rain in the forecast for today. So far, we've made a trip to get new coloring books. I'll see if that can help hold their interest, or if I give in and let them watch a show or a movie. My goal is to go at least 2 weeks before I bring up the idea of watching a movie -- I'd like to see how long it takes before they stop asking to watch TV. Any guesses?
Barb
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Did we survive Day 1?
As a matter of fact, we did. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I was surprised that it was my 3-year-old who had a harder time with it than my 9-year-old. When the TV is on, my toddler seldom "watches" what is on. It is usually background noise to another activity. It caught me off guard (1) how often she asked to turn it on; and (2) how upset she was with my persistent "no." And her first request this morning was to watch a show. I'm wondering how long it will take her to change that part of her routine.
I'm also contemplating if I will relax the rule when the weather doesn't cooperate. The weather here is predicting a couple of stormy days. We did get a trip to the park in this morning. Not sure that will be available tomorrow. Looks like I may be researching indoor places to burn energy. Any suggestions?
I'm also contemplating if I will relax the rule when the weather doesn't cooperate. The weather here is predicting a couple of stormy days. We did get a trip to the park in this morning. Not sure that will be available tomorrow. Looks like I may be researching indoor places to burn energy. Any suggestions?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Journey to a TV-Free Summer
It's been awhile, I know.
I'm coming back to blog and let you know what we are doing with our summer. Over the past few weeks, I've seen how much of an influence television is in our family. When my 9-year-old started telling me that she didn't want to go outside and play because "Show X" was on, I started talking to my husband about making some changes.
When I was growing up (I hope that doesn't make me sound too old), TV wasn't really an option. First of all, we only had 3 or 4 channels. And that was when I lived in a town large enough. I lived in rural Wyoming for a period of time, and the only time we got decent TV reception (with an antenna, nonetheless), was if the signal bounced off of the mountain the right way. Most of my childhood revolved around riding my bike, playing with other kids, and reading. It might be a bit of a social experiment, but I want to see how creative my kids can become by removing the passive entertainment.
I let the kids know about a week ahead of time that the TV would be turned off today. I wanted them to have a little time to process the idea. Still, at 10:13 a.m., the first question came from my 3-year-old:
Her: Can I watch TV?
Me: No, remember that we are letting the TV rest?
Her: Just a few minutes?
Me: No.
Her: Just one show?
Me: No, honey.
Cue the tears.
In case you're wondering, strong wills run in the family. And there will probably be a couple of battles over the next few days as everyone adjusts. I'll be honest. I'm questioning some of this myself. Since I work from home, allowing the kids to watch a couple of shows or a movie can give me some "work time" during the day. I guess we will get to see what "quiet time" looks like without a television.
I've made some plans for us over the summer, but have tried to stay a way from an overly-rigid schedule. I think we will probably have a daily trip to the park when the weather cooperates, and we will take advantage of the library that is also well within walking distance. I'll make plans with other moms to make field trips to the zoo and other local attractions. I'm going to enjoy watching my kids grow this summer. I want to encourage their creativity. I see my 9-year-old turning into a tween before my eyes, and my 3-year-old will start preschool in a few months. I know that things will change when this summer ends, and maybe that's why I want us to have every opportunity to enjoy our kids at this stage of life. It seems like it was yesterday that my 9-year-old was 3. It feels like time is Moving. Too. Quickly. Maybe this will slow it down a bit.
At any rate, I'll keep you posted on the ups and downs of an unplugged summer. Let me know if you want to join us on the journey!
Barb
I'm coming back to blog and let you know what we are doing with our summer. Over the past few weeks, I've seen how much of an influence television is in our family. When my 9-year-old started telling me that she didn't want to go outside and play because "Show X" was on, I started talking to my husband about making some changes.
When I was growing up (I hope that doesn't make me sound too old), TV wasn't really an option. First of all, we only had 3 or 4 channels. And that was when I lived in a town large enough. I lived in rural Wyoming for a period of time, and the only time we got decent TV reception (with an antenna, nonetheless), was if the signal bounced off of the mountain the right way. Most of my childhood revolved around riding my bike, playing with other kids, and reading. It might be a bit of a social experiment, but I want to see how creative my kids can become by removing the passive entertainment.
I let the kids know about a week ahead of time that the TV would be turned off today. I wanted them to have a little time to process the idea. Still, at 10:13 a.m., the first question came from my 3-year-old:
Her: Can I watch TV?
Me: No, remember that we are letting the TV rest?
Her: Just a few minutes?
Me: No.
Her: Just one show?
Me: No, honey.
Cue the tears.
In case you're wondering, strong wills run in the family. And there will probably be a couple of battles over the next few days as everyone adjusts. I'll be honest. I'm questioning some of this myself. Since I work from home, allowing the kids to watch a couple of shows or a movie can give me some "work time" during the day. I guess we will get to see what "quiet time" looks like without a television.
I've made some plans for us over the summer, but have tried to stay a way from an overly-rigid schedule. I think we will probably have a daily trip to the park when the weather cooperates, and we will take advantage of the library that is also well within walking distance. I'll make plans with other moms to make field trips to the zoo and other local attractions. I'm going to enjoy watching my kids grow this summer. I want to encourage their creativity. I see my 9-year-old turning into a tween before my eyes, and my 3-year-old will start preschool in a few months. I know that things will change when this summer ends, and maybe that's why I want us to have every opportunity to enjoy our kids at this stage of life. It seems like it was yesterday that my 9-year-old was 3. It feels like time is Moving. Too. Quickly. Maybe this will slow it down a bit.
At any rate, I'll keep you posted on the ups and downs of an unplugged summer. Let me know if you want to join us on the journey!
Barb
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